Sometimes people do things that hurt and it's not because they mean to. They just do. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, but you end up hurt because of it. - Randy K. Milholland
Slow and steady wins the race, then wastes no time grinding salt-caked glass in your open wounds. - Randy K. Milholland
The shortest verse in the Bible is 'Jesus wept.' The only thing wrong with it is the past tense. - Randy K. Milholland
I guess that's how death works. It doesn't matter if we're ready or not. It just happens. - Randy K. Milholland
A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted. - Randy K. Milholland
We all have a few failures under our belt. It's what makes us ready for the successes. - Randy K. Milholland
Success only hurts the first time. - Randy K. Milholland
Death likes it when you play hard to get. - Randy K. Milholland
I've accepted that I'm not going to die of natural causes, [but] getting killed 'cuz you're naturally a dick seems like natural causes to me. - Randy K. Milholland
The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore. - Randy K. Milholland
In the end, you'll know which people really love you. They're the ones who see you for who you are and, no matter what, always find a way to be at your side. - Randy K. Milholland
Sometimes old things need to go away. That way, we have room for the new things that come into our lives. - Randy K. Milholland
That's the thing with suicide pacts. Sometimes they only really work if they catch you by surprise. - Randy K. Milholland
Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them? - Randy K. Milholland
Forgiveness is one of the many horrible side effects of loving someone. - Randy K. Milholland
I barely trust established sources of information. I have a hard time finding [Wikipedia], an encyclopedia that anyone can alter, to be a safe way to learn about anything except how many idiots think their opinions are a suitable substitute for facts. - Randy K. Milholland
You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy. - Randy K. Milholland
Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner. - Randy K. Milholland
The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them. - Randy K. Milholland
It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be. - Randy K. Milholland
In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it. - Randy K. Milholland
It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions. - Randy K. Milholland
Slap a mask on a drunk and you're going to have trouble. It's like having a live reenactment of anonymous forum comments. - Randy K. Milholland
Never confuse the faith with the supposedly faithful. - Randy K. Milholland
Desperate is not a sexual preference. - Randy K. Milholland
Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes. - Randy K. Milholland
There are people I know who won't hurt me. I call them corpses. - Randy K. Milholland
Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable. - Randy K. Milholland
The only time anyone's admitted they were a Christian before was when they were busy telling me why they're better than me. - Randy K. Milholland
Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them. - Randy K. Milholland
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing. - Randy K. Milholland
It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. - Randy K. Milholland
Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love. - Randy K. Milholland
People age even when you're not looking. - Randy K. Milholland
Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger. - Randy K. Milholland
Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later. - Randy K. Milholland
The only way to be truly misogynistic is to be a woman. - Randy K. Milholland
Things aren't magically better if that's what you're hoping for. It's not that simple. - Randy K. Milholland
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better. - Randy K. Milholland
Being prepared for loss is never the same as being ready for it. - Randy K. Milholland
You can't show love to someone at the expense of someone else who loves you. - Randy K. Milholland
That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win. - Randy K. Milholland